| Ultimate Member
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: MA / NH
Posts: 1,497
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Originally Posted by JimRune The reason I'm posting something like this here is because I feel comfortable talking about this subject with TechIMO users. | That’s great that you feel comfortable, although I don’t believe I have ever seen you around here before, so welcome to TIMO!
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I'm having a problem as to deciding what I want to do with my life. This my seem like a simple decision to some, but with my parents constant with their incessent pressuring and doubting of my abilities, which then leads to the doubting of my own, it drives me up the walls and it gets very frustrating.
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I know how you feel… I am in almost the same situation as you, my parents constantly doubt my abilities and my goals. You don’t need to know exactly what you want to do, but to have a general idea (which it appears you do… therapy or computers) is the right track for someone our age.
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I've thought about being a massage therapist or computer repair specialist, or maybe a network administrator. I've talked to my parents about this, but they don't really seem to give it any attention and say, "Well if you want to work at McDonalds for the rest of your life, go ahead." Their reasoning behind this statement is that No College = instant failure. They talk about how their friends they used to have who didn't go to college or dropped out did nothing with their lives and became bums, and their current friends who did go to college are happy with families and can own huge houses and such.
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I’m not sure about massage therapy, but I do know that to become a computer repair specialist, you may actually be better of and save money by working towards multiple certifications in your field, that will say more than “I have a bachelors in computer science”. What I have observed is that there are very few courses in college, majors, that are geared towards computer repair. A network administrator is along the same lines as a repair specialist, and depending if you want to go to college or not, you will need certifications.
As far as your parents statement about their friends who have nothing, that is not true completely. The reason why those people have nothing, is because they didn’t care, not because they didn’t go o college. Hell, if they say that again, tell them how Bill Gates dropped out of college to open a crazy software company destined to fail, called Microsoft.
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While that may be true, I don't want to get married, have a family, or own a huge house(i like small spaces), or own an extravegant automobile. It just doesn't tickle my fancy. I like living the simple life. But if I even consider anything other than going to college, my parents are all over me like white on bread.
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All I can say, is that will change. And even if you don’t want kids, the woman will be the one who decides. (Quote from my former boss)
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I want to do something with my life, but I don't know if it's the right decision. I don't know if what my parents are saying is the right way to do things or not. Am I right or are my parents right? I know that some people say to listen to your heart and others say to listen to your parents. It seems like they're trying to choose my future for me, because everytime I consider doing something, I have to take into account if it requires college or not, because as I mentioned before, my parents believe that a life without college education is a bad life.
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As I try to tell my friend, contrary to me, who has always known what I want to do, that you don’t have to know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life. The most important part I find, is that you need to know an idea of what you want to do… you should have an idea if you are a worker, an organizer, a talker, etc.
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My parents have been very helpful in my life, but I don't know if this is one of those things that they can help me with, or even possibly make things worse for me. My dad is excellent with math and I constantly struggle with it, and he's always been there to help me, so I don't know if I can just ignore what he has to say.
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Don’t worry about not being good at math, or even that great academically. College isn’t necessarily how you perceive it. Look at going to an institute, rather than a university. For example, the college I will be going to, Worcester Polytechnic Institute is a project based college… meaning that there isn’t a great focus on academic, and there are very few required courses (like the ones that have nothing to do with your major).
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Part of my decision is also partly influenced by the college life itself. If I'm struggling with trigonometry now, I doubt college-grade Calculus will be any easier, and without my parents there to help me through, I won't make it far before I'm expelled. Having huge projects and tests due every week isn't exactly my forte either, because with a huge mental workload I crack under the stress(which is why I considered massage therapy, since I don't crack under physical stress and enjoy being hands-on).
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So why not go to a hands on college, like WPI?
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I spend almost all of my day inside my room, because going downstairs or even just making eye contact with my parents will warrant a huge discussion about why I may never make it in life. I know some of you might say that my parents just care for me, and even though that's true, I think they're going overboard because, frankly, I don't think it's normal for me to be deeply afraid of my future or what my parents think of me.
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Let them know that you are considering it, and looking at some institutes that will better fit what you think you would like to do in life.
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I know some of the users here might think of me as a kid and pass off my post as complete angst, but it's really stressful doing this thinking by myself and all I ask for is a little guidance.
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The fact that you are asking for guidance makes you more of an adult than many that I know.
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For those that will suggest having a deep-seated talk with my parents, I have already done so. All it has lead to was them letting me know that if I don't go to college, I will have no moral support from them whatsoever, which is pretty bad considering I have very little from them currently.
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I’m in the boat, that my parents don’t want me to go to the college that I will be attending. At 42 grand a year, I am going to have to try to have one of my adult friends co sign for my loans, or have the school give me a special deal because I have almost no support fro my parents. They are encouraging me to attend a sub-par college.
-Blaze |