well i played around with it some but it wasn't really what i was looking for. but thanks for the tip, i didn't know it existed.
I actually did make a lot of progress and managed to get twinview to work like i had wanted.
KDE has under advanced options in window behavior to enable xinerama support and you can make windows always open up on the primary monitor...it also allows for fullscreen of xinerama aware programs on either monitor.
Also i managed to get xine and mplayer to work well in these conditions, so i'm happy.
the only thing i haven't been able to get so far has been 1152x864 res (it still defaults to 1024 due to the tv-out). but i think i can fix that with a virtual desktop area.