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  1. #1
    Banned sharder8's Avatar
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    Talking Don Rickles roasts the Democrats!

     
    ONLY DON RICKLES COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS


    Don Rickles Roasts the Dems...

    Hello, dummies! Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?

    Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard.

    Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

    Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is so
    ooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.

    Speaking of the Speaker... Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

    Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.

    Madame Speaker... want to make twelve bucks the hard way? Pelosi says she's not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini.

    Charlie Rangel... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft?

    Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.

    Barney Frank - he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider... he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system!

    Let's all admit it... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right... he's from Massachusetts . That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people!

    You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.

    Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire.

    Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him!

    Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you... especially given your upbringing. All you've overcome... I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?

    As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree.

    Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

    His mind is open to new ideas -- so open that ideas simply pass through it.

    Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack.

    Just don't ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record... he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton.

    As far as his administration -- what with the tax cheat and lobbyists -- well, in the words of Patches O'Houlihan, "It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there."



    FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR "HOPE AND CHANGE"... BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY!
    Last edited by sharder8; September 1st, 2009 at 02:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Ultimate Member Black*Dragon's Avatar
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    Obama Lies
    Grandma Dies

  3. #3
    Fossil Theophylact's Avatar
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    Don Rickles wasn't funny even when he was alive.
    In judging a two-person singing contest, never award the prize to the second soprano having heard only the first.
    -- Francis Bator

  4. #4
    zen
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    Ultimate Member zen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophylact View Post
    Don Rickles wasn't funny even when he was alive.
    But that sure was!

    Hey now, don't bury him yet!
    Last edited by zen; September 1st, 2009 at 09:23 PM.

  5. #5
    Ultimate Member mad1's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Goverment property now GroundZero3's Avatar
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    I wasted several minutes of my life reading! I want my minutes back

  7. #7
    Unavoidable Member nickslick74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GroundZero3 View Post
    I wasted several minutes of my life reading! I want my minutes back
    Yep, I want my time back as well.
    The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. -Mary Catherine Bateson-

  8. #8
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    Rickles

    The Rickles roast of the dems is bogus. A blogger wrote it in his style and at first didn't put up a disclaimer. Rickles doesn't do politics.

  9. #9
    Banned sharder8's Avatar
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    Still a good laugh!

    Someone needs to come up with a similar one for the Repub's then.


    Harder

  10. #10
    Member theGlitch's Avatar
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    boom roasted!

  11. #11
    Ultimate Member cyphen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharder8 View Post
    Still a good laugh!

    Someone needs to come up with a similar one for the Repub's then.


    Harder
    What, you didn't get enough of the "roasts" during the last 8 years?
    Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress, but just terrible things.

  12. #12
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    Unhappy thats not Rickles

    Unless Don Rickles has suddenly changed his style to ripping off Caddyshack jokes, that was not him. The Pelosi lines of 'before electircity' and '12 dollars the hard way' are direct rip offs of jokes made by Rodney Dangerfield's character. If you break it down further you will probably see that the writer doesn't even have his own original jokes. Just a hack with no creativity.

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