What sort of first impression do you give?

[brandon184]

Let me tell you about the kind of first impression I give....

I went out to a gothic little bistro for supper tonight with a friend and her new boyfriend, who I had only met briefly once before. We all chatted for a while, and I thought the conversation was going really well.

Anyway, a couple hours later he has to leave, as he had to get up in about 5 hours to go to work. So she goes off to walk him to his car and comes back and says, "Yeah. He thinks you hate him." ............

WTH!?

Me: "Oh god... And why's that?"
Her: "I'm not sure. It's just what sort of first impression you give."
Me: "It's not on purpose!"
Her: "I know. You just have that look and demeanor to you. Don't worry... It just means he'll be trying all that much harder to grasp for your approval and acceptance."

I have no idea what I do that makes people think that I hate them. I always try to be really nice to the people I know and the people I am trying to get to know. I always get this with new girlfriends/boyfriends of current friends - and I genuinely think that I'm trying my best to be as nice as humanly possible.

But, apparently I just "have that look"...

Does anyone else ever experience this?

Brandon

[pickel]

I beleive the rest of us are pretty well accepted as " Nice Guys ". Must be just you !!

It's all in the eye of the beholder.

"with a friend and her new boyfriend" There's your problem !!!

[brandon184]

Nah, that had nothing to do with it.

[ShawnD1]

I went out to a gothic little bistro

About this guy you hate, is he a goth? If so, it would explain why he thinks you hate him. The mind of a goth can be summed up in 3 simple words: "woe is me".

[brandon184]

lol... I don't hate him!

Nope, definitely not a goth.

[Hungrycookpot]

yeah i get that sometime too. I'm not a very out going or... i guess you would say... easily... smiling person? i have a good sense of humor, dont get me wrong, but i just dont look real friendly unless the person knows me. Its just something you gotta live with. Or i suppose you could change your whole personality, if you care enough?

[Socalgal]

Difficult to know..

Our opinons of ourselves are subjective, biased, slanted on how we perceive ourselves, and open to interpretation; therefore quite unreliable, imo. I think the only way to really know what kind of first impression we make on others is to ask others.. at least those others we know who have the ability to be truthful.

So, to answer your question, I haven't a clue as to what kind of first impression I make

*Edit.

Brandon, consider. The impression you "make" is what you think you are.

The person who is forming that impression is doing so with all of his own perceptions of himself, of others, the world around him, and his belief systems. I very much believe that you could take two different people and each would have a different "first impression" of you under the same first meeting.

[RADAR1797]

It could be you just come across as pompous jerk, who knows?

-RADAR

[brandon184]

It could be you just come across as pompous jerk, who knows?

-RADAR

Have I told you lately how much I love you, RADAR?

Either way -- no matter how many times I say it, it's still true.

[geeraff]

I never experience that.

[Brainchild]

Nope never experiance that.No one ever wants my approval,and don't really care what I think.I'm generally an easy going,joke it up,sarcastic,missouri redneck.

[tony_j15]

ditto that, BC. If people want to learn how to get along, come live in Missouri for a few years

I try to get along with everyone and dont think about what kind of impression I'm making...unless its an interview for a job

[ArcticFox]

Well damn, Brandon, you leave a bad impression on....wait....oh that's your AVATAR! Har har, I was gonna say, that person under your name looks like she/he woke up on the wrong side of the flower-laced hammock.

Just kidding.

[brandon184]

Arctic, you SAVAGE!

*bitter look* ... you leave her alone.

Anyway - I'm not focused and constantly thinking about what kind of "first impression" I'm making... EXCEPT for when I hear the day after meeting or talking to someone, "Yeah - he/she thinks you hate him/her."

It's just... one part of me couldn't care less, the other lays awake at night wondering what I'm doing to give these people the idea that I don't like them.

Oh well... Maybe it's just the radiance of my cold soul.

[Toadman]

First impression? Usually the left upper quadrant, depends on the orthodontist.
Other wise, I don't do Rich Little very well. ( I don't think anyone under 30 will know what the hell I'm talking about and I digress).

Sounds like you are a people-pleaser. It's not so much your outbound persona as it is other's reaction based upon their life experiences. And yes we all stereotype and pidgeon-hole people we meet.

[ben-the-slacker]

Maybe your body language or certain looks on your face led him to think you didn't like him. Or maybe he thought you were angry he's going out with that girl!

[ridetillyadie99]

Usually Girls think i am drunk when i talk to them (which most times i actually am), but i still get there numbers becuase i am really hot haha

[Brainchild]

Usually Girls think i am drunk when i talk to them (which most times i actually am), but i still get there numbers becuase i am really hot haha

And then you wake up!

[ArcticFox]

lol!

Sorry Brandon, it was an easy pot-shot. I don't hate Martha, just as I don't at all hate my cat, but I still call him all sorts of names and insult his mother.

[EpyonMelee]

i make great first impressions, then down the road i do stupid @#$ which ends me up in a lot #$%^