My Future

[Bovon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimRune

I'm having a problem as to deciding what I want to do with my life. This my seem like a simple decision to some, but with my parents constant with their incessent pressuring and doubting of my abilities, which then leads to the doubting of my own, it drives me up the walls and it gets very frustrating.

Jim, I pretty well stopped reading at this paragraph...I did skim through the rest, but your problem (IMO) is summed up right above.

At 72 years of age, having raised 3 kids, I have a little insight into this parent/children thing.

Most parents today are stressed out big time..they do not have time for themselves, much less anybody else...this is not to say that what they are telling you is excusable because they are stressed out. Parents can do more long term ill than good by talking down to their children..its like the age old self fulfilling prophecy...If I tell you ...you are worthless...then, you think you must be..therefor, you grow up to be worthless.

No parent...no matter what they really think should ever tell a child that he/she is not gonna make good.

Back quite a few years ago (mid 70's) My youngest son had the ability to be one he**ova cook/chef... that boy could prepare a meal that would satisfy anybody...he was 15 at the time.. I tried to encourage him to go take a course in being a chef after he graduated...his mother would have none of that...so..he became an architect ...now unemployed for at least 3 years.

Bottom line... You need to stop trying to "work" with your parents.. it is obvious to me that they are not interested unless you become something they can boast about..whether or not you are happy..if you are President of the US one day, I suspect they will come up and pat you on the back...sh**!!

In a very few years you will be out on your own...do it your way!!

[JimRune]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bovon

Jim, I pretty well stopped reading at this paragraph...I did skim through the rest, but your problem (IMO) is summed up right above.

At 72 years of age, having raised 3 kids, I have a little insight into this parent/children thing.

Most parents today are stressed out big time..they do not have time for themselves, much less anybody else...this is not to say that what they are telling you is excusable because they are stressed out. Parents can do more long term ill than good by talking down to their children..its like the age old self fulfilling prophecy...If I tell you ...you are worthless...then, you think you must be..therefor, you grow up to be worthless.

No parent...no matter what they really think should ever tell a child that he/she is not gonna make good.

Back quite a few years ago (mid 70's) My youngest son had the ability to be one he**ova cook/chef... that boy could prepare a meal that would satisfy anybody...he was 15 at the time.. I tried to encourage him to go take a course in being a chef after he graduated...his mother would have none of that...so..he became an architect ...now unemployed for at least 3 years.

Bottom line... You need to stop trying to "work" with your parents.. it is obvious to me that they are not interested unless you become something they can boast about..whether or not you are happy..if you are President of the US one day, I suspect they will come up and pat you on the back...sh**!!

In a very few years you will be out on your own...do it your way!!

I thank you very much for your support. I take advice from the elderly very seriously.

I am under the impression though that my father is being suppressed by my mother. At first, he didn't go to college and spent some of his life doing odd-jobs around town and he became motivated to go to college after he saw people just walking into CEO jobs. He takes me aside away from my mother and lets me know that I can do anything I want, but I have to work for it. If he tries to say something like that when my mother is around (which he has tried multiple times in the past), there will be a brief "awkward silence" and she will say, "No, he is going to do this, this and this." and my father goes along with it, but I can tell he doesn't necessarily agree. Personally, he seems broken and battered by my mother, which is part of the reason why I don't wish to get married.

The only problem I have with leaving the house is that I will have no one to turn to for help after that. I'll be on my own and I'm very timid when it comes to being on my own. I'd like to listen to my parents because then I'd have some guidelines to follow as what to do with my life, but yet I want to be able to live my life the way I want but that involves making my own path and that's when things get shaky for me.

I appreciate all advice so far. Thank you very much.

[The Real Bingo]

My dad, who is 52 still doesn't know what he wants to do. Not many adults do. I wouldn't worry about it - just go with the flow.

Also do yourself a favor and don't get married for a while. Once you do, many of your options are off-limits. And if you have children, you can forget about going from job to job.

[Siliconjunkie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blaze

but I do know that to become a computer repair specialist, you may actually be better of and save money by working towards multiple certifications in your field, that will say more than “I have a bachelors in computer science”. What I have observed is that there are very few courses in college, majors, that are geared towards computer repair. A network administrator is along the same lines as a repair specialist, and depending if you want to go to college or not, you will need certifications.

I am going to disagree with you here. The degree will do more for you than a cert that anyone with a couple hundred bucks and some spare time can get will. Doesn't matter what the degree is in, but you need to get a degree, PERIOD.

Certs have their place, but only if you want to work at Best Buy or similar.

[Blazer06]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Siliconjunkie

I am going to disagree with you here. The degree will do more for you than a cert that anyone with a couple hundred bucks and some spare time can get will. Doesn't matter what the degree is in, but you need to get a degree, PERIOD.

I completely agree, and if you ever want a managerial position, it is ten times harder to get one without a degree.

However, I take the cert example, specifically from my brother who was offered a 64k / year job out of high school working for Cisco, because of his multiple degrees. (He was also the youngest person in the nation to ever get the Cisco Networking Certification)


-Blaze

[draboo]

As far as going to college or not,hell thats YOUR decesion and yours alone. Weigh both sides and do what you think is best. Dont do something that doesnt sit right with you.

I ve worked construction for almost 35 years. Backbreaking,physically demanding work. I attempted to go to college,but alcoholism got in the way. I m looking at retiring in 3 years. I seriously do NOT recommend this sort of work to anyone. Its just too damn dangerous IMO.

Work with a carreer counsler at your school and (if possible)confide in that person the same info you are telling us. There are so many different opportunities out there compared to 35 years ago when i was your age(I m 53 in May). You have lots of options career wise.

Oh,hehe,and read my sig..

[RedFury]

But draboo, the world needs guys like us, out there busting our butts, Building this country!

But I digress. Do what feels right, but don't do anything you can honestly look at yourself 10 years from now and regret.

Where do you want to be 10 years from now, and what do you have to do to get there? And I'm not talking about what you want to do for a living specifically. Do you want to be well travelled, or perhaps have experienced many job fields. Perhaps you need to give yourself a year from school to put your life into perspective. You need to figure out what is going to work the best for you...there is no one answer you can plug into your question.

however, you sound like you have a secret supporter. Keep it secret if you have to, but keep talking to your dad. Your mother sounds like a control freak, and she doesn't know what's best for you....no matter how loud she says it. She isn't going to live your life...you will. She may not understand why you make the decision you eventually make, but she's certainly not trying to help guide you in your quest for an answer.

It took a while for my dad to figure out that I respond better to him making suggestions to me, instead of telling me what I should do. Keep talking to the ones that are supporting of your decisions and only offer up suggestions and advice. Avoid the ones that tell you "what you should do".