My Future

[JimRune]

The reason I'm posting something like this here is because I feel comfortable talking about this subject with TechIMO users.

I'm having a problem as to deciding what I want to do with my life. This my seem like a simple decision to some, but with my parents constant with their incessent pressuring and doubting of my abilities, which then leads to the doubting of my own, it drives me up the walls and it gets very frustrating.

I've thought about being a massage therapist or computer repair specialist, or maybe a network administrator. I've talked to my parents about this, but they don't really seem to give it any attention and say, "Well if you want to work at McDonalds for the rest of your life, go ahead." Their reasoning behind this statement is that No College = instant failure. They talk about how their friends they used to have who didn't go to college or dropped out did nothing with their lives and became bums, and their current friends who did go to college are happy with families and can own huge houses and such.

While that may be true, I don't want to get married, have a family, or own a huge house(i like small spaces), or own an extravegant automobile. It just doesn't tickle my fancy. I like living the simple life. But if I even consider anything other than going to college, my parents are all over me like white on bread.

I want to do something with my life, but I don't know if it's the right decision. I don't know if what my parents are saying is the right way to do things or not. Am I right or are my parents right? I know that some people say to listen to your heart and others say to listen to your parents. It seems like they're trying to choose my future for me, because everytime I consider doing something, I have to take into account if it requires college or not, because as I mentioned before, my parents believe that a life without college education is a bad life.

My parents have been very helpful in my life, but I don't know if this is one of those things that they can help me with, or even possibly make things worse for me. My dad is excellent with math and I constantly struggle with it, and he's always been there to help me, so I don't know if I can just ignore what he has to say.

Part of my decision is also partly influenced by the college life itself. If I'm struggling with trigonometry now, I doubt college-grade Calculus will be any easier, and without my parents there to help me through, I won't make it far before I'm expelled. Having huge projects and tests due every week isn't exactly my forte either, because with a huge mental workload I crack under the stress(which is why I considered massage therapy, since I don't crack under physical stress and enjoy being hands-on).

I spend almost all of my day inside my room, because going downstairs or even just making eye contact with my parents will warrant a huge discussion about why I may never make it in life. I know some of you might say that my parents just care for me, and even though that's true, I think they're going overboard because, frankly, I don't think it's normal for me to be deeply afraid of my future or what my parents think of me.

I know some of the users here might think of me as a kid and pass off my post as complete angst, but it's really stressful doing this thinking by myself and all I ask for is a little guidance.

For those that will suggest having a deep-seated talk with my parents, I have already done so. All it has lead to was them letting me know that if I don't go to college, I will have no moral support from them whatsoever, which is pretty bad considering I have very little from them currently.

[John Prophet]

are they paying for the college?

is there a 2 year program you can do as sort of a compromise?

[JimRune]

I'm only a Junior, so I don't know if they'll be paying for my college. My brother and sister don't struggle with any of their work and have almost A's in every single one of their classes, so I believe that they'd give them college money before me.

And they say that 2 year programs aren't worthwhile as compared to a 4 year program.

[nooblet]

I would personally go to college and do what your parents suggest..as long as they pay for it (or help pay for it..or you get some kind of financial add to help you pay for it). College is expensive, and if I didn't get aid I probably wouldn't be going (also, I'm only going because my dad want's me to..and I dont want to let him down because he has done so much for me in the past, I kind of owe it to him). Anyways, go to a community college if you can, or dont want to go to a big school. I wouldn't worry about the "huge exams and projects due every week", because honestly, that's a joke. You do have projects, and tests, but you have SO much time to do it and study for that it's not a problem. If you do end up living on college, and dont like to be in loud places or with a roomate, ask the college if they have a "quiet living" section. I'm living it in now (not by choose, the dude I was going to room with got sent over to Iraq..so I just got thrown with someone), and I actually dont mind it. The people around are nice, and when I want to listen to my music or play games, the people dont really care unless it's late, or I just throw headphones on. You can also try to get a single..most colleges have those..although you might have to pay more. So all in all, I think college is a great experience, you meet tons of people and make new friends, and there is always something to do. I'm glad I did end up going. But, like I said earlier, college is not for everyone so if you do decide to skip it, then the best of luck to ya.

[nooblet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimRune

I'm only a Junior, so I don't know if they'll be paying for my college. My brother and sister don't struggle with any of their work and have almost A's in every single one of their classes, so I believe that they'd give them college money before me.

And they say that 2 year programs aren't worthwhile as compared to a 4 year program.

See if you can go to a two year program then transfer over. I know a ton of people that do that because in the begining you usually take all the core classes so it doesnt matter where you go for that. But later on when you get into the major subjects, it good to go to a school known for that. If I didn't get aid, I would have done that, to save money.

[mazdarx7-64]

I did the 2-year thing, and really liked it, less "other" classes and more of the classes that I wanted to take in the first place. It is a little harder to find a higher paying job with the 2 year. With my degree I can make about 25K-30K a year. Not bad, it will just take me more time to work me way up to the higher paying positions.

[Knothead]

Hi, Jim, here's some thoughts from the perspective of a guy with 51 "annual rings"...

You say you're a Junior in high school? Well, okay, I might suggest you ask around the school yard...ask your peers "Hey, do you know exactly what you want to do with your life?"

You may find that few guys your age really KNOW! So much for angst.

Can't say much about your parents; they care, of course, but...you need to get some dialog in with them about how they're making you feel with all the pressure. It's not the way they should be handling this with you, IMO.

With that said, I would yet tend to take their side about the College issue, and here's why:

A College grad has many more OPTIONS in life. Read it again, buddy!

Owing to a king-size dysfunctional family situation, I was on my own at 17. I didn't go to college (plus, I figured I was too smart for all that... )

I basically trained myself in the field of commercial art, and after a LOT longer than it woulda taken a normal College grad, I eventually prospered.

Unfortunately, in the early '90's, programs like Photoshop, Illustrator, Quark, and others became wildly popular, and suddenly anyone who could learn them was calling themselves an Illustrator/Designer. What I did became just about worthless, as there was just WAY too much cheap competition.

So there I was, age 40, a one-trick pony and no more circus! And with only a high-school education, I had very little to recommend me to a prospective employer.

It is a fact that College doesn't necessarily make you SMARTER; but lemme tell ya, that degree is like a secret password when you need another door!

I wound up figuring another angle, but I'll tell you, it would have been a LOT easier and faster had I that MBA degree to re-build around/add to!

Bisides, in that four years, you'll have plenty of time to figure your angles, meet people, and like that. All in all, a good thing!

Then, if ya wanna bugger off and collect seashells, you'll still have those options down the road, if an attack of rampant capitalistic fever gets you!

[enyone]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimRune

. It seems like they're trying to choose my future for me, because everytime I consider doing something, I have to take into account if it requires college or not, because as I mentioned before, my parents believe that a life without college education is a bad life.

If you have something that you really want to do, then go for it.
I did not attend college, by choice, and I have a great life.

[JimRune]

Thanks much for all the advice. I still have a lot of questions, but I suppose it would be best to figure the answers out on my own.

I would hate to get into a field without having some sort of background in it, though. I doubt many colleges have any kind of courses for computer repair.

I'll just have to grudge my through this math until I can figure something out.

[Blazer06]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimRune

The reason I'm posting something like this here is because I feel comfortable talking about this subject with TechIMO users.

That’s great that you feel comfortable, although I don’t believe I have ever seen you around here before, so welcome to TIMO!

Quote:

I'm having a problem as to deciding what I want to do with my life. This my seem like a simple decision to some, but with my parents constant with their incessent pressuring and doubting of my abilities, which then leads to the doubting of my own, it drives me up the walls and it gets very frustrating.