Like this girl (Yes another girl/guy relationship thread) need opinion help with girl

[_Switch_]

Hey guys

Here's what's going on. I started liking this girl in my grade a couple weeks ago, but never told anyone until this week. That's when almost everyone found out, and Sarah, the girl I like, also found out. Now they didn't find out by me talking to them, no, they all found out by means of MSN, or me telling someone on MSn, and them telling some of their friends.

Now I really like this girl, but I'm horrible at going up and talking to them and im pretty new to this kind've stuff so don't laugh. I want to get to know her more so that I can maybe take her to the movies a couple times, take her to grad at the end of the year, and maybe, even go out with her.

But I need a hell of a lot of help with girls so that I can get more confidence and know what to do and stuff.

[John Prophet]

just start talking to her....keep it relaxed/low key.....the rest of it will work itself out

[The Real Bingo]

Yeah, I've been trying that with this girl for a little while, JP.

I'm hoping it'll work out like you say.


But yeah, JP's advice is good.

[_Switch_]

Yeah, that's what almost everyone tells me, but for me it's extremely hard because i dont know why it's just that it's hard for me to go up to her and talk to her

[John Prophet]

well I didnt say it would work out exactly like you want it to....but, at my old age (almost 38) and looking back....the chance of any particular girl being "the one" is pretty slim....and the odds that every girl you start to "like" will like you back is also slim....so the BEST thing to do is just start to talk to them BEFORE you get all "attached" in your mind etc


let me tell you young dudes a little story to put it in perspective

when I was in college (best 5 weeks of my life)...there was this girl in the cafeteria every day....I definitely noticed her...then I started thinking about her a little bit...next thing you know I was half jokingly praying "Lord, why cant I have me a girl like that?....if I had a girl like that I wouldnt need anything else"

so of course I never spoke to her etc...and my college career was, uhmm, "brief"


so a few years later I saw her in a store....she was like 80 lbs heavier and her hair had halfway fallen out....I got the impression she was sick or something (I am pretty sure it was her)


Anyway, that is just a little illustration of how things can be.......(also, for extra credit, it is a good example of why God doesnt give you everything you ask for)


A lot of girls that were "hot" in high school arent hot at all now....and some that were geeky/scrawny or whatever actually turned out looking good when they put on the inevitable 15-20 lbs and discovered makeup



JP

[John Prophet]

Yeah, that's what almost everyone tells me, but for me it's extremely hard because i dont know why it's just that it's hard for me to go up to her and talk to her

here is what you need to do....start talking to other girls....even ugly ones, lol....ones that you arent attracted to....just hang out with them and shoot the breeze/chat a little, learn to just be friends etc....then you will be ready when you want to talk to one that you like


if you never talk to any and then you sit and worry about it for 2 months and then you go up to some girl and nervously blurt out that you want to take her out etc, how well is that going to go??

also...you dont have to like approach her directly etc...be slick and set it up....stalk her, lol....seriously, hehe...find out who she hangs with...then just "happen" to be talking to them when she walks up etc


Think about baseball players.....they go to the batting cage every day in practice to work on their hitting....then they play scrimmage games etc...then spring training/preseason......by the time the real season rolls around they are ready......

how well do you think they would do if they sat on the bench all year...worried about how to hit and obsessed about striking out....then all of a sudden in an important game they go to the plate??? they would strike out for sure that way

[_Switch_]

well I didnt say it would work out exactly like you want it to....but, at my old age (almost 38) and looking back....the chance of any particular girl being "the one" is pretty slim....and the odds that every girl you start to "like" will like you back is also slim....so the BEST thing to do is just start to talk to them BEFORE you get all "attached" in your mind etc


let me tell you young dudes a little story to put it in perspective

when I was in college (best 5 weeks of my life)...there was this girl in the cafeteria every day....I definitely noticed her...then I started thinking about her a little bit...next thing you know I was half jokingly praying "Lord, why cant I have me a girl like that?....if I had a girl like that I wouldnt need anything else"

so of course I never spoke to her etc...and my college career was, uhmm, "brief"


so a few years later I saw her in a store....she was like 80 lbs heavier and her hair had halfway fallen out....I got the impression she was sick or something (I am pretty sure it was her)


Anyway, that is just a little illustration of how things can be.......(also, for extra credit, it is a good example of why God doesnt give you everything you ask for)


A lot of girls that were "hot" in high school arent hot at all now....and some that were geeky/scrawny or whatever actually turned out looking good when they put on the inevitable 15-20 lbs and discovered makeup



JP

Yea, i kno what you mean JP.

I know that there's like a 99.9999% chance that any girl you like at a young age won't be the one.

That's why I've liked a couple different girls, but all I have had no luck with, so now I land on this one. Which I don't know if something'll ever work out between us (even if it means just being good friends like a couple girls I liked in the past now are, my good friends) but I try anyways, because I never know when some girl will actually like me, and we go out and all that jaz.

[John Prophet]

yeah..dont sweat it...next week it will be a different girl, lol

[_Switch_]

here is what you need to do....start talking to other girls....even ugly ones, lol....ones that you arent attracted to....just hang out with them and shoot the breeze/chat a little, learn to just be friends etc....then you will be ready when you want to talk to one that you like


if you never talk to any and then you sit and worry about it for 2 months and then you go up to some girl and nervously blurt out that you want to take her out etc, how well is that going to go??

also...you dont have to like approach her directly etc...be slick and set it up....stalk her, lol....seriously, hehe...find out who she hangs with...then just "happen" to be talking to them when she walks up etc


Think about baseball players.....they go to the batting cage every day in practice to work on their hitting....then they play scrimmage games etc...then spring training/preseason......by the time the real season rolls around they are ready......

how well do you think they would do if they sat on the bench all year...worried about how to hit and obsessed about striking out....then all of a sudden in an important game they go to the plate??? they would strike out for sure that way

That's a good point too.

And I've been talking to a lot of girls who are my friends for a while, just that talking to girls I like gets, me.

That idea to "happen" to be talking to her friends when she walks up if pretty sneaky, I may have to try that one out.

[_Switch_]

yeah..dont sweat it...next week it will be a different girl, lol

yea...i shouldn't be worrying over something that should be easily overcome, it's just getting up the guts, and actually wanting to do it, is what makes yyou go through with it

and actually i dont chg liking different girls that often, becuz the last girl I liked (Heather), i started liking in October of last year, and stopped liking her about a motnh ago, and then started liking Sarah about a week after that.

[John Prophet]

you sound completely normal to me, lol....when you get older it'll all seem funny to look back on....

then thing is..to just make sure that you like yourself for starters....then just accept the fact that most people will be friendly when you talk to them and only a small number of people will be mean or whatever.....so just laugh off the mean ones

of course, I am 37 and never been married, lol...and dont plan on it either....so maybe I am not the best to get advice from! lol


At this job I used to work at, there was this nice looking lady....older than me, lol....I wanted to meet her....I was asking people about her but no one knew anything.....so I more or less figured out what time she got there....and then we all had to take an elevator up to the 4th floor so it was easy to "bump into her".....I just spoke to her one day...next thing you know I was hooked up

hehe, then after a while this other girl started working there...she was a few years younger than me.....I was "dating" the older woman....and she noticed the other girl too, lol....so the older woman was like "I bet you like her...dont you?" I was like "she's ok looking I guess" (she was the BOMB). So next thing you know I was scheming on the younger one.....she had to ride the same elevator, lol.....so eventually the older woman told the younger one "I know someone that wants to meet you"....next thing you know I am hooked up with the younger one, lol

there was a lot of black gilrs that worked there and they were known to make comments to me, lol....so one night I got on the elevator (before I hooked up with the younger girl) and there were like 3 black girls and the other girl....I heard the black girl say something to the white girl and the white girl said "yall are crazy" and they were giggling....I KNEW they were talking about me, lol....I think that is when I said something to the older woman who said something to the younger one. Later the girl told me that the black girls had said something like "there's a nice present for you" and she told em later "yeah, Id like to have that under my tree with a bow on him"

then it got a little messy with all 3 of us riding the elevator at the same time, lol....cuz I wasnt seeing the older one anymore and she sort of took it hard even though it was her idea for us to stop seeing each other

(see how complicated it can get!!)



----

PS...all that was before I was a Christian, lol...just thought Id fill in that detail

[-FMA]

Well she knows, so this is good. When you're around her, do a little flirting. Then just ask her if she would like to go to the movies or something.
Tell her she looks nice. She'll like that. Just don't say something like "I like your shoes". Be honest, find something that you really like and tell her.

[MD1032]

Ask her out. Do it. If she says yes, good for you. If she doesn't, I don't care. I mean it'll be ok, buddy!!

[_Switch_]

you sound completely normal to me, lol....when you get older it'll all seem funny to look back on....

then thing is..to just make sure that you like yourself for starters....then just accept the fact that most people will be friendly when you talk to them and only a small number of people will be mean or whatever.....so just laugh off the mean ones

----

PS...all that was before I was a Christian, lol...just thought Id fill in that detail

Yea, I kno that Sarah is a very friendly person ,cuz we used to talk to eachother a while back, but dono what happened. So I think that's another advantage

Well she knows, so this is good. When you're around her, do a little flirting. Then just ask her if she would like to go to the movies or something.Tell her she looks nice. She'll like that. Just don't say something like "I like your shoes". Be honest, find something that you really like and tell her.

Thx lol, but one question, and i kno ill sound like such an idiot, i kno what the concept of flirting is, but like, i need it to be explained to me, so i understand iut more plz

[_Switch_]

Ask her out. Do it. If she says yes, good for you. If she doesn't, I don't care. I mean it'll be ok, buddy!!

Oh that helps so much, thx for not caring about my situation *thumbs up*.
Yea i kno where you're trying to go, but almost all the time you have a better chance of going out with someone by getting to know them a little first, and getting comfortable being with eachother, instead of just going up to them and asking them out. Unles u mean ask her out to the movies or whatever, which im guessing u arent

[-FMA]

Thx lol, but one question, and i kno ill sound like such an idiot, i kno what the concept of flirting is, but like, i need it to be explained to me, so i understand iut more plz

Ok, this might sound like a cliche, but, be yourself. That's how a real relationship works. Trying to be something else to impress a girl is giving her a false representation of yourself and if you start a relationship that way, that is what she will expect of you. That will be the personality she likes, but sooner or later your true personality will come out. For example, if you try to act "cool" in front of her and not show your "geeky" side (not saying you have one), the geek will come out. You are who you are, for a relationship to last, you need to be you, one can only put on an act for so long.

But at this age, relationships don't really last. That was just a tip on making it last longer. At your age, this relationship will mostly be "experience" for a future relationship. Practice is good. Maybe some others would agree that being yourself something that is needed for a relationship to really work, because when you're 40, 50, 60, 70+, the way you impress a girl is by doing it the way YOU would do it.

I've never been into stupid teen relationships. Whenever I enter a relationship I like to see what works and what does not. Connecting with another is always a good feeling. But I know, I'm only 16, I need to take in that these relationships are temporary and won't last most of the time.

Be yourself, do some flirting and try to get some life experience out of it.
And always be honest!

[Knothead]

Good advice, -FMA!

Okay, here's the deal: (and just TRUST me on this, okay?)

Girls are another species entirely. That's the bad news. The GOOD news is, they want to hook up with you. They really DO! And unless you're short, fat, pimply, with BO and a body cast, chances are you're perfectly acceptable to them.

Here's the BEEEG SECRET: Even if your nose is so huge that your head bobbles under the weight of it, virtually no young girl can resist a dude who is CONFIDENT!

Seriously! That's the whole issue right there!! Even if you are bleeding continuously from your eyeballs, the girls will be impressed with a guy who seems to know what he's doing...and seems to KNOW exactly what he wants!

Just fake it. I know you don't have any confidence in yourself. It's okay, As a high schooler, I didn't either.

But I realized well, "Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'..." so I figured even if I'd go out in a blaze of ridicule, I had one thing I wanted to lose real bad, and nothing else...

So I got real bold.

RIDICULOUSLY bold.

Ya know what? I couldn't believe how easy it all was. The scales fell from my eyes, when I discovered how much the girls wanted a guy to just cut right through the BS, and tell 'em what it is, and what's up.

Pretty soon, I wasn't faking confidence anymore, man!

But just be sure that's the ONLY thing you fake. You MUST be truthful and dependable, as a man should be...If for no other reason, them girls have a network like you wouldn't believe; and a BS-er will soon get a rep for that.

Quit whining and go get 'em, Tiger!

[originel]

of course, I am 37 and never been married, lol...and dont plan on it either....so maybe I am not the best to get advice from! lol

Bah! you give yourself too little credit .

Flirting is easier than you think...it's not really even a conscious thing...it just kinda happens. It's kinda hard to describe...but it's basically how people interact when they like each other. An example could be (legitimately) laughing at a joke that isn't really funny, i guess. Flirting is more of a by-product of having fun with someone you're interested in...

The best thing to do is not try and figure out what to do, but to just do it. Things never go according to plan afterall. Just be normal and talk about normal things. Back when I was in high school I always had problems talking to girls I liked in situations like this because I never knew what to say because I used to think that whatever I said had to be profound and directed towards moving the relationship forward, so to speak, and that normal stuff wasn't interesting or suited. Really this applies to how you act around her in general, where you go, yadda yadda. So remember talking about how much the neighboring high school sucks is ok . It all falls back into the be yourself kinda thing. I've always had the best luck with girls when i didn't really think about it or try to specifically "get the girl". It sounds kinda wierd I guess...but I think that if you are focused on going out with the girl when you're around her, it's not going to work.

EDIT: I must be lacking sleep or something...that was definitely a high amount of rambling...

[_Switch_]

Good advice, -FMA!

Okay, here's the deal: (and just TRUST me on this, okay?)

Girls are another species entirely. That's the bad news. The GOOD news is, they want to hook up with you. They really DO! And unless you're short, fat, pimply, with BO and a body cast, chances are you're perfectly acceptable to them.

Here's the BEEEG SECRET: Even if your nose is so huge that your head bobbles under the weight of it, virtually no young girl can resist a dude who is CONFIDENT!

Seriously! That's the whole issue right there!! Even if you are bleeding continuously from your eyeballs, the girls will be impressed with a guy who seems to know what he's doing...and seems to KNOW exactly what he wants!

Just fake it. I know you don't have any confidence in yourself. It's okay, As a high schooler, I didn't either.

But I realized well, "Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'..." so I figured even if I'd go out in a blaze of ridicule, I had one thing I wanted to lose real bad, and nothing else...

So I got real bold.

RIDICULOUSLY bold.

Ya know what? I couldn't believe how easy it all was. The scales fell from my eyes, when I discovered how much the girls wanted a guy to just cut right through the BS, and tell 'em what it is, and what's up.

Pretty soon, I wasn't faking confidence anymore, man!

But just be sure that's the ONLY thing you fake. You MUST be truthful and dependable, as a man should be...If for no other reason, them girls have a network like you wouldn't believe; and a BS-er will soon get a rep for that.

Quit whining and go get 'em, Tiger!

Wow, that was great advice if I do say so myself.

And just by reading that, the stomach pain i've been having since I started liking her has almost vanished, that has really helped.

I guess I'll have to just forget about everything that has happened or will happen, and remember that I've got nohing to lose, and just go talk to her, thinking that all you want to do is have fun, and being yourself.

Great help guys! Thx.

And bump for the mornin crew who want to give more advice/opinions

[jml90]

The worst that could happen is her to say "We're juat friends" in which case you will probably have to kill yourself