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  1. #1
    Fossil Theophylact's Avatar
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    Police arrest naked man...

     
    ...after he flails car with a stolen pigeon:
    SUFFOLK - A naked man clutching a pigeon was arrested over the weekend after beating the bird against a car. Two Whaleyville residents had just pulled into their driveway Friday night when Juan Lopez, 30, of Kellam Road in Virginia Beach came up and repeatedly pounded the pigeon on the car, police said. The people got out of the car and went to a neighbor's house, where they called the police.

    After a short chase, police caught Lopez in nearby woods.

    "I'm not sure whether he's mentally disturbed or under the influence of narcotics, but he was obviously having some sort of issue that night," said Lt. Debbie George, Suffolk Police Department spokeswoman.

    Police discovered that Lopez had destroyed two of the homeowners' bird cages, freeing 15 small chickens and four pigeons. He killed four birds, George said. Lopez was treated at Sentara Obici Hospital for cuts and scratches. He's charged with burglary, destruction of property, and larceny of poultry.
    "Larceny of poultry" is almost as good as "subornation of false muster".

    (Hat tip to Gene Weingarten.)
    In judging a two-person singing contest, never award the prize to the second soprano having heard only the first.
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  2. #2
    Goverment property now GroundZero3's Avatar
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    hahahahahahhahaah! Oh Suffolk you make me laugh

  3. #3
    Ultimate Member MD1032's Avatar
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    I was gonna post that last line, but it was unavoidable that soundone would catch it. Larceny of Polutry!!! That is great.

  4. #4
    What? SoloCamo's Avatar
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    larceny of poultry? He killed them, how is that larceny?
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  5. #5
    Anime Otaku RobRich's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Anime Otaku RobRich's Avatar
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    Yet another report....

    It happened on Sunday and he was completely nude from the waist down calmly appearing to be shopping.

    Source: http://www.wcsh6.com/news/watercoole...?storyid=38715
    !!!!

  7. #7
    Ultimate Member crazyray's Avatar
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    Nearly as bad....
    Arby's sauce?

    I'm truly sorry. There is no excuse. Please forgive me.

  8. #8
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    lol, my friend (Lorn) get arrested naked the other morning for GBH and Theft

  9. #9
    Goverment property now GroundZero3's Avatar
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    that is a great person to be friends with

  10. #10
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    well, she pushed her ma over and took a fiver from her ma's purse. then her ma phoned the pigs .. I don't think it was that bad a crime

  11. #11
    Goverment property now GroundZero3's Avatar
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    Sounds like a winner to me

    Oh and calling of cops "pigs" is very classy

  12. #12
    Ultimate Member elroy's Avatar
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    If my daughter pushed my wife over and took money from her, I doubt the cops would get their fast enough to save my daughter.
    “Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”
    Benjamin Franklin

  13. #13
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    lol, well the mother was sobber ... and the PSNI are so damned slow it was the next morning she got arrested.

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