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  1. July 20th, 2006, 10:42 AM #1
    Theophylact
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    Police arrest naked man...

     
    ...after he flails car with a stolen pigeon:
    SUFFOLK - A naked man clutching a pigeon was arrested over the weekend after beating the bird against a car. Two Whaleyville residents had just pulled into their driveway Friday night when Juan Lopez, 30, of Kellam Road in Virginia Beach came up and repeatedly pounded the pigeon on the car, police said. The people got out of the car and went to a neighbor's house, where they called the police.

    After a short chase, police caught Lopez in nearby woods.

    "I'm not sure whether he's mentally disturbed or under the influence of narcotics, but he was obviously having some sort of issue that night," said Lt. Debbie George, Suffolk Police Department spokeswoman.

    Police discovered that Lopez had destroyed two of the homeowners' bird cages, freeing 15 small chickens and four pigeons. He killed four birds, George said. Lopez was treated at Sentara Obici Hospital for cuts and scratches. He's charged with burglary, destruction of property, and larceny of poultry.
    "Larceny of poultry" is almost as good as "subornation of false muster".

    (Hat tip to Gene Weingarten.)
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  2. July 20th, 2006, 10:46 AM #2
    GroundZero3
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    hahahahahahhahaah! Oh Suffolk you make me laugh
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  3. July 20th, 2006, 12:48 PM #3
    MD1032
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    I was gonna post that last line, but it was unavoidable that soundone would catch it. Larceny of Polutry!!! That is great.
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  4. July 20th, 2006, 02:02 PM #4
    SoloCamo
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    larceny of poultry? He killed them, how is that larceny?
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  5. July 20th, 2006, 02:06 PM #5
    RobRich
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    Nearly as bad....

    http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturd...exposure.shtml
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  6. July 20th, 2006, 03:07 PM #6
    RobRich
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    Yet another report....

    It happened on Sunday and he was completely nude from the waist down calmly appearing to be shopping.

    Source: http://www.wcsh6.com/news/watercoole...?storyid=38715
    !!!!
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  7. July 20th, 2006, 03:13 PM #7
    crazyray
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    Nearly as bad....
    Arby's sauce?

    I'm truly sorry. There is no excuse. Please forgive me.
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  8. July 21st, 2006, 07:26 AM #8
    neochivers
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    lol, my friend (Lorn) get arrested naked the other morning for GBH and Theft
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  9. July 21st, 2006, 07:27 AM #9
    GroundZero3
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    that is a great person to be friends with
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  10. July 21st, 2006, 07:30 AM #10
    neochivers
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    well, she pushed her ma over and took a fiver from her ma's purse. then her ma phoned the pigs .. I don't think it was that bad a crime
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  11. July 21st, 2006, 07:33 AM #11
    GroundZero3
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    Sounds like a winner to me

    Oh and calling of cops "pigs" is very classy
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  12. July 22nd, 2006, 12:29 AM #12
    elroy
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    If my daughter pushed my wife over and took money from her, I doubt the cops would get their fast enough to save my daughter.
    “Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”
    Benjamin Franklin
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  13. July 22nd, 2006, 07:19 AM #13
    neochivers
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    lol, well the mother was sobber ... and the PSNI are so damned slow it was the next morning she got arrested.
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