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K-Mart, Inc. Acquires TechIMO

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Old April 1st, 2002, 11:43 AM   Digg it!   #1 (permalink)
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K-Mart, Inc. Acquires TechIMO

--from The Wall Street Journal, 4-1-2002:
Negotiations have been completed in the acquisition of TechIMO.com, a web-based techical information "forum"-type website, and the K-Mart Corparation, the Texas-based national retail chain.

"We envision a good working relationship between the K-Mart family of stores, and this plucky little website" said Martin Broomhoffer, V.P. in charge of Media Acquisition. "The merger of Compaq and Hewlett-Packard affords the K-Mart family the opportunity to represent their new line of computer products exclusively, and the TechIMO site is composed of computer enthusiasts" he stated. "What better target audience to premiere the new line of products to?"

The need for greater media penetration into the computer sector was a major prompt as well.

"The TechIMO site has been an invaluable advertising tool for such excellent companies as PhotoPost, Crucial.com, and others" said David Belinsky, V.P. in charge of Mid-States Promotion. "Let's face it, K-Mart has dropped several points in national public awareness, and we view the advertising opportunities on the site as a major incentive for the move."

Terms of the acquisition are undisclosed at this writing, and Scott Wainwright, the web-forum's owner, was unavailable for comment.

Insight into the acquisition process was provided for The Wall Street Journal by Hansen Klinger, V.P. in charge of Corporate Negotiations:

"Well, it started off a little slow, a little one-sided" Mr. Klinger laughed. "But I think we got his attention with the promise of a shiny new red bicycle. We were surprised at first when we noticed Mr. Wainwright's comparatively young age, and we are convinced that it was a negotiating ploy that we can all feel good about" he concluded, with a chuckle.

The final details of the acquisition are being processed through the Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.

Further information is promised on Thursday.
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Old April 1st, 2002, 11:50 AM     #2 (permalink)
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Nice try Knotty... busted...
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Old April 1st, 2002, 11:54 AM     #3 (permalink)
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ROFL Yeah
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Old April 1st, 2002, 11:59 AM     #4 (permalink)
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What do you mean funny? I went and picked up the WSJ and it's in there.

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Old April 1st, 2002, 12:12 PM     #5 (permalink)
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What do you mean funny? I went and picked up the WSJ and it's in there.

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Cody is not kidding, it really is in there!
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Old April 1st, 2002, 12:19 PM     #6 (permalink)
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yeah right, like scotty would sell his site for a bunch of lame Cheroke jeans
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Old April 1st, 2002, 01:00 PM     #7 (permalink)
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WaHaHaHaHa!
Do we get one of those cool monochromatic commercials?
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Old April 1st, 2002, 01:02 PM     #8 (permalink)
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Martha Stewart is going to be wearing a TechIMO T-shirt
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Old April 1st, 2002, 01:04 PM     #9 (permalink)
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Old April 1st, 2002, 01:05 PM     #10 (permalink)
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oh great, she'll spread her evil to techimo.........

the user reviews will have blue light flashes next to them
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