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Old December 11th, 2002, 08:36 AM   Digg it!   #1 (permalink)
shahani
 
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Talking
Hunting Licence??

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies. The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid Oklahoma hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said "This duck ain't from Oklahoma. This is a Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin' license, boy?"
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kansas hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Kansas duck. This duck's from Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?" The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain't no Arkansas duck. This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?"
Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly "Just where the hell are you from?"
The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said "You tell me, expert."

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Old December 11th, 2002, 08:37 AM     #2 (permalink)
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Old December 11th, 2002, 09:10 AM     #3 (permalink)
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Old December 11th, 2002, 11:05 AM     #4 (permalink)
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'nother one, I reckon...

This game warden had gotten more than a few complaints about this hillbilly and his fishing practices on a backwoods lake. Seems he was taking more than his fair share, and the locals were pretty riled up.

So he travels out there, and finally finds the guy, loading his kreel, a net, and a fair to middlin' size wooden box into a small boat with an Evinrude (motor) on the back of it.

"Hey, you, I'm the game warden around these parts and I've got some complaints about you." he says to the man. "I intend to go out on the lake with you this day!" The man just nods, and the two men climb into the boat and take off.

After awhile, the fisherman shuts down the motor, and stares at the warden. After another while, the guy reaches into the wooden box and takes out a stick of TNT, lights the fuse, and chucks it way over the side...BOOM! and suddunly stunned fish float to the surface, and are netted by the fisherman.

"Why, that's completely illegal! You ain't allowed to use dynamite on this lake! I'm gonna have to take you in, mister!" screams the warden.

The fisherman regards him for a moment, then reaches into the box again, takes out another stick, lights it, and tosses it into the startled warden's lap.

"Okay, boy" says the guy. "Now, y'all gonna talk, or are y'all gonna fish?"
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Old December 11th, 2002, 11:11 AM     #5 (permalink)
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Old December 11th, 2002, 11:39 AM     #6 (permalink)
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Whoo! LMAO!! Man! The first one's great, but the second one's even better.

Hee hee.
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Old December 11th, 2002, 11:43 AM     #7 (permalink)
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LMAO, what a way to start the TechIMO day
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Old December 11th, 2002, 05:06 PM     #8 (permalink)
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I thought Epidemic would get attraccted to this like sugar to flyies.

Oh well.
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Old December 11th, 2002, 06:40 PM     #9 (permalink)
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Good ones!

Heard this one? It's an old Jerry Clower joke (it's not exact but this is how I remember it).

Uncle Versie and the Preacher go bird hunting one day. They walk out the front door and the Preacher notices that Uncle Versie didn't have his shotgun, all he brought with him was a basket.

They walk out across the field and 2 birds flush. The preacher gets them both on the rise with his shotgun. "That's pretty good shootin" says Uncle Versie.

They walk along a little more and Uncle Versie looks up and sees a bird directly overhead. Uncle Versie holds his basket out and puts that ole ugly grin on the bird. It's the ugliest grin the Preacher has ever seen. The bird is stunned and just floats down out of the sky and into Uncle Versie's basket.

"That's quite a talent you got there" says the Preacher, "just grin at a bird with that ugly grin of yours and catch them in a basket". "Can anyone else in your family do that?" "Yep, my wife can" replys Uncle Versie. "Do you ever take her bird hunting with you?" asks the Preacher. "Naah" says Uncle Versie, "she tears em up too bad".
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Old December 11th, 2002, 07:41 PM     #10 (permalink)
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Mike: excellent.

There used to be a series of Olga/Sven jokes -- if anyone knows please post.
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