Human Evolution Has Ceased

[RobRich]

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

[ArcticFox]

That's hi-larry-us....

[ben-the-slacker]

I can't stop laughing

[Epidemic]

On the serious side.

the statement is true.

No longer are we driven by forces in nature.

We breed not with the strongest or the smartest or the fastest, there is no rhyme or reason to how we select a mate.

People with diseases like childhood diabetes are through the advent of technology able to keep the genetic pool filled with this flaw.

Asthma allergies and the rest are not even a consideration when breeding.

Evolution has hit a horrible point, Lord only knows if we can blow our selves up fast enough to insure that genetics dont kill us first.

rant

[M_Six]

People with diseases like childhood diabetes are through the advent of technology able to keep the genetic pool filled with this flaw.

And your suggestion to solve this problem is????

[MD1032]

Originally posted by RobRich
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

I think the original version was "Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals". And what scares me is my grandpa got a new chainsaw and it says "Do not attempt to stop with hands."

[osprey4]

Originally posted by Epidemic
No longer are we driven by forces in nature.

So if you had your druthers, what would we be doing?



By the way, at what point in human history were humans driven by forces of nature? To put it another way, how do we know that the current supposed "evolutionary crisis" isn't part of nature's plan for humanity.

[Epidemic]

Eugenics would be the on solution. But I cant think of a fair body to regulate or define it.

[SeanC]

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

-----

There is underground.

Sean

[ArcticFox]

Yeah, but did you see any Christmas lights in the Hobbit holes in The Lord Of The Rings??

[James_M]

LOL, thats great

[Droppyale]

these are old...

but still good to read

[J-Excel]

These statements aren't for the benefit of stupid people. They are for the clever lawyers.

[WingWizard]

The sad thing is they probably have to put those on, or risk being sued.

But to kick start human evolution again, and get rid of all the stupid people, I suggest taking the warning labels off of everything and letting nature sort itself out

[SeanC]

That sounds like a plan to me!!

Sean

[DPA]

my sister purchased a curling iron and it said on the side of the box:

"do not insert into any bodily oraface"

she was so disappointed...

we couldn't stop laughing, i mean to think, they probably got sued for damages to someones "oraface".

[SeanC]

That's ridiculous. But companies put it on because either:

A) Someone HAS done that and sued them

B) They have people think up as many stupid things people can do with stuff and put warnings not to do that so that they aren't libel for anything

I've noticed that McDonald's coffee cups now have "Warning, contents of this cup are hot" or something similar to that. Sad, truly sad that society has fallen to such a level of uncommon sense.

I can list a large number of people that don't use common sense on the most ordinary things. It's baffling how they don't fall down stairs or get killed because of their lack of common sense.

Sean

[Prexaspes]

Human evolution isn't over, it's just going to move on to a different path - biomechanical. We'll all be cyborg things in the future.

Hopefully by then, lawyers will be extinct.

Isn't RobRich a prototype???

I read a really funny instruction sheet for some D cell batteries the other day. I don't remember what they said, but there were little plastic caps covering the positive terminals of the batteries.

[Penguin Lord]

rotflmao
thats funny crap man.....