the last one

**Germ** · November 2nd, 2003, 12:34 AM

I used to write a lot. Mostly poetry, but even a few short stories. Not for gain, just because I liked to. I wrote poems for people I cared about. I don't know if they were good or bad. They just always came from my heart and feelings. I always gave a little of myself. For almost four years, I wrote nothing. In the last few weeks I wrote 3 for someone who was special to me. That someone is gone now and I gave her all of me.

I wrote one more. I just can't give any more of myself. I'm done, used up. It just hurts too much. If you think I'm whining, that's fine. If you think I'm crazy, that's fine too.

I've enjoyed being here and I'll probably cruise by once in a while, but I just feel kind of numb and I just don't know. You give all of yourself to someone and they throw it back in your face, what do you do? Try to pick up the pieces, but it can never be whole again. I don't think I care anymore. I don't think I can care anymore.

Thanks to all of you for always making me feel welcome here.

Here's the last one. Maybe you can understand it, maybe not. But don't ask me to explain or talk about it. I just can't. It hurts too much.

Forever

you will be in my heart forever
in my dreams the rest of my life
our souls intertwined like ivy
memories so clear and bright

your soft sweet voice, it haunts me
spinning through my heart and my head
why can't you see what I see
it's life without you that I dread

can't you see I need you?
can't you hear me cry?
can't you feel my soul reach out to you?
don't answer, you'll feel me die

I close my eyes and I feel you here
I don't want them to open again
The one thing that's my greatest fear
you won't be here at my end......

**sao95** · November 2nd, 2003, 01:41 AM

hang in there guy. you'll never forget her, but it'll stop hurting so bad after awhile, i know it seems impossible right now, but it will....

**Xeroid** · November 2nd, 2003, 02:08 AM

Hi Germ.

sao95 is right, hang in there dude it will get better. Please PM me if you need someone to talk to.

Mike

**Xeroid** · November 2nd, 2003, 02:13 AM

sao95, I liked your poem. I know you had second thoughts and edited it out. You should put it back up.

Only if you want to.

**John Prophet** · November 2nd, 2003, 03:03 AM

Germ..we've all probably been there....been a while for me but I still remember how vivid the feelings were. I remember not being able to think straight etc.

Ill throw in some advice, take it for what it's worth.

After a little of the sting is gone....you need to just try to enjoy life for a while...make it a habit....learn to like yourself whether you have "anybody" or not. You really have to be able to like yourself and be somewhat content with yourself.

The old advice is still true..and usually the harder to swallow the advice is..the truer it is.....if you cant find a way to be happy while your alone, you'll never be happy with someone either. So just relax, enjoy each day..do fun stuff, dont think it all thru 50 times a minute....learn to like yourself for who you are..everyone is special..there's only one you.

JP

**OuTpaTienT** · November 2nd, 2003, 11:09 AM

I know it won't help much, but I understand what you're going through.

#1 - Hang in there.

#2 - Don't stop writing poety. It's good & healthy to let those emotions have a channel out. If you don't give them a way out they'll eat you up inside.

**OuTpaTienT** · November 2nd, 2003, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by Xeroid
sao95, I liked your poem. I know you had second thoughts and edited it out. You should put it back up.

Only if you want to.

Is there more to your poem? I want to see it.

**Brainchild** · November 2nd, 2003, 04:09 PM

Like everyone says Hang in there. It is tough right now,but in time..........
I really like the poem,good work.Don't stop writing,it is good to let that emotion out